I had to chuckle when I read an article in the Boston Globe this week, It’s never to late to swoon, by Beth Teitell. The piece describes how moms and their teenage daughters go gaga over the same cultural icons, especially the young male talents, hunks and vampires. The issue presented was that moms are vocal about it, leaving their girls mortified.
Wasn’t it just the night before, sitting with my 10 and 12-year-olds watching the elimination of American Idol contestants that I remarked, “Well, that Casey sure is cute!”
“Mom!” Both my daughters admonished. ”Well, I don’t think he should be in top 3! I’m sure it’s the teeny bops all over a America who are keeping him in the running because they think he’s cute, too!” (All three of us wanted to see native Massachusetts contestant, Siobhan Magnus, on there instead.)
Teitell writes, ”A variety of cultural forces are turning women with crow’s feet into lovesick post-post adolescents. For starters, the societal fixation with youth leads some people to believe they are still, in fact, young.”
Not.
It’s not that moms are
reliving their youth – although it is fun to recall those moments at times. I
confess to buying some of my clothes in the junior sections of various retailers.
It’s that parents and kids today are experiencing what youth expert Don
Tapscott calls a “generation lap” in his book, Grown Up Digital. This “overlap” is in part due to exposure
to the technology, media and information available to kids that easily
transcend generational lines. In
fact, in the digital medium, it’s kids who are the experts. “The implications
are huge,” he writes. ”In some families, members have begun to respect each
other as the authorities they actually are. This has created a more engaged
dynamic within families. If managed well by the parents, this dynamic can
create a more open, consensual and effective family unit.” One good example of the convergence is
how kids and parents alike appreciate songs by The Beatles. And, hey, didn’t American Idol have Bon
Jovi perform last week as well? (“They look as old as Dad,” was one remark). Or how about the
resurgence of the Peace sign inspired by the 40th anniversary of
Woodstock that has infiltrated the fashion industry over the last year. (What
comes around goes around?)
This lap is evident in our household. Dad is a baby boomer, me (Mom) is Gen X, elder tween is Gen Y (a Millennial or Generation Net) and the youngest is Gen Z (also called Generation Next). That sort of covers a lot of ground. When I heard my daughter crooning Journey’s big 80s hit, “Don’t Stop Believing” throughout the house for days on end, I just quietly giggled until it got unbearable. (I had to ask her to stop! That was a prom song in my high school days.) When you consider that the cast of Glee performed it on the season opener last year, what do you expect?
But here’s the thing about
mothers and daughters today (or fathers and sons). It's not that moms are pining
for their youthful days. Our daughters are enjoying and repurposing many of the
same, classic cultural fodder we grew up with. I kind of like it. We don’t have to be “friends” or chum
around – we can keep appropriate boundaries. But we can also value certain styles and sentiments that
make for a strong bond – and keep us youthful in spirit.
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