There have been a number of surveys, research reports and polls that are confusing. Are today’s parents in tune, overbearing, or clueless about what’s going on with their kids? Do they coddle or give to much power? Check out some recent reports from CBS’s Health in America poll, or the America Psychological Association's Stress in America survey.
Who are these kids anyway?
Don Tapscott, in his recent book, Grown Up Digital writes how the Net Generation (born between Jan 1977 and Dec 1997) is the first generation to be immersed in digital technology. His multimillion-dollar research shows that this generation gets along pretty well with their Baby Booming parents. In fact, he refers to a “generation lap” vs. any gap. “The implications are huge,” he writes.” In some families, members have begun to respect each other as the authorities they actually are. This has created an engaged dynamic within families. If managed well by the parents, this dynamic can create more a open, consensual, and effective family unit.”
In our household, my husband is a Baby Boomer, I was born in the first year of Gen X (the baby bust generation) and my old daughter is was born in at the end Net Gen (aka Gen Y). Her 9-year-old sister falls in Gen Z (1998 to present). Four generations in one nuclear family. We certainly experience a “generation lap.” Like Tapscott describes in his book, our family enjoys and shares in certain cultural and social experiences that has spanned 40+ years. The Beatles come to mind, as do living in this season’s “All you need is love” t-shirts from American Eagle.
Tapscott finds Gen Y (and presumably Gen Z) is smarter (brains are wired differently), more civic minded, more creative, and, lo and behold, family matters. (Warning: These kids tend to stick around after college).
Yet, standing back and looking at the reports that seems to come across news headlines and twitter feeds it seems like parents are as clueless as ever about their kids behaviors: Sex, drugs and rock-and roll still prevail. And to today’s parents seem to think their kids aren’t doing it as if total amnesia has occurred about their own coming of age in the late 60s, 70s and 80s.
Like my 9 year old might blurt out, “What the?”
Mostly, I take comfort in what Tapscott has to say about our digitally-marinated kids and he cites the trend data to show declines in unplanned teen pregnancies, lower rates of drug use, less violence, lower rates of smoking (not cool anymore), and higher IQs (cool to be smart), On the other hand, today’s teen behavior is also the by-product of the digital era: They are more stressed, distracted, impulsive (think “sexting”), more exposed (You Tube and social nets), and have transferred school yard bullying to cyberland.
Seems like parents (I include myself, here ) might be missing the forest through the trees. Our brain neurons are too busy trying to keep up that we’re at risk for missing the obvious.
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