Teens in Balance - Tara Cousineau, PhD: February 2009

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We love the Girl Scouts. They are one group that keeps up with the times. Today marks the launch of a collaboration between the Girls Scouts and Microsoft, called LMK: Life Online. In texting jargon that means “Let Me Know.”

The campaign includes a website for girls (13-17), and an e-newsletter for parents.

This seems rather timely given the news of MySpace’s 90,000 members who are allegedly registered sex offenders. But that stat, which has been questioned, doesn’t account for other sexual lurkers and the run-of-the-mill cyberbully (usually a peer). Indeed, this campaign addresses an all too common childhood experience of online harassment and empowers girls to be vigilant with a variety online lessons (So what does a sexual predator look like anyway?). The program covers safety with social networking, too.

Cyberbullying is defined as “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices.” This includes name calling, spreading gossip or sensitive information, threats, teasing, sexual harassment, being ignored or disrespected, and being deceived by a bully who is misrepresenting him or herself.

More then half of teens have been exposed to a cyberbully. At least a third of high school students admit to posting hurtful things about others. It’s a real problem that calls for repeating lessons traditionally taught about playground antics, e.g., understanding the role of bully, bystander and victim -- but with the digital twist.

Let’s hope the Boy Scouts get on board, too. Originally published on www.BodiMojo.com/blog (Feb 12, 2009).

That’s my reaction to last weeks Boston Globe magazine cover headline (2/01/09): Isn’t It Time Sex Ed Grew Up?

Being part of the cohort known as those Liberals Up North, I must say I was shocked to learn that the subject of human sexuality is not mandated in Massachusetts schools, nor is the instruction of HIV prevention, as it is in many other states. It is therefore entirely possible, noted Globe writer, Alison Lobron, that a student receiving a public education might not learn anything about human reproduction at all.

Having worked in the area of fertility treatment I have come across many women who simply did not understand female reproduction or the natural aging of their eggs. If she were raised in this state, it is no wonder. One patient, a nurse, said she never really learned anything about conception and contraception until she was in college course for her nursing degree. She lamented that she spent all those years trying to prevent pregnancy; now that she was ready to start a family, her eggs were too old. For years I have been frustrated by the lack of basic knowledge by both adult women and men. I assumed the naiveté was a generational issue.

Fast forward to my own child's generation. A few days after the Globe piece I attended a parent information night about the puberty lecture for 5^th graders to be given in the spring (with parent permission, of course). The evening allowed parents to view the video for both the girls and the boys.

I must pause here briefly to describe the videos. In many ways they were no different from the black and white, scratchy reel version I saw 30 years ago with that British narrator who seemed to be heard on all science programming of the day. It is true that the facts of puberty haven't changed much (aside from today's girls menstruating on average 6 months earlier). But the social context certainly has. Today's kids are way more knowledgeable about sex -- before many parents get around to having the "The Talk." Is anyone paying attention? (The educators are not, apparently.)

The videos by Marsh Media were jam packed, quickly-paced scripts trying to do too much in 15 minutes. Tina Medina, a Southern radio host of some sort narrated the girls' video, reading from a teleprompter; Bob Walkenhorst, a strumming guitar player with bad hair, hosted the boys' video ("Music has a rhythms and so does adolescence."). Both went though the following points: puberty happens earlier for girls than boys, every body is different and goes through puberty at its own pace, the pituitary gland triggers the hormones that begin the various physical changes, such as menstruation or sperm production, and the variety of secondary sex characteristics like body hair, odor, voice changes, fat distribution and musculature. The video showed a drawing of an egg and a sperm, and simply noted that when the two meet conception occurs. Voo-la!

But wait, there is more. Apparently if you take care of your body now, you are preparing yourself for the responsibilities that come later. Like getting job.

Getting a job?

What is this about again? "Growing up can be an impossible struggle" and "It can be really confusing," both narrators emphasized with earnestness. I'm now confused, too.

After the viewing the local pediatrician, who also facilitates the sessions with the school kids, answered our questions. I raised my hand first."So given that children are at different maturational stages, and some might not understand all the information packed into the video, um well, after this introductory hour to puberty, what is the context for sex ed from now through 12^th grade?" The doctor and the school nurses just stared at me. One nurse shrugged, "This is it."

The doctor then read off some of the typical questions kids write on note cards and pass in for him to answer. Mind you the entire 5th grade girls are gathered together (as are the boys -- God forbid they learn what the opposite sex goes through). One can only imagine the riots of giggling and the embarrassment of asking these questions to a male health provider. The questions are expected, "Do periods hurt?" "When should a girl wear a bra?" "What happens if a girl gets her period in school." And so on. It took another parent to ask, "So do any of them want to know how the egg and sperm meet? (Thank you fellow parent for asking the obvious.) Yes, these questions do come up, said Doc. "Basically, I draw a picture" -- and he proceeded to scribble the fallopian tubes suspended on the white board with specks of sperm swimming their way up to meet an egg." Not too abstract. Jeez Louise. Next question by the same parent, "Well, how do you explain how the sperm get there?" The doc tells us that he informs the kids: "While no question is a bad question, some are inappropriate for the discussion. It's best to go home and discuss with your parents." End of story. Welcome to the Puritans Up North.