I've always wondered why certain weeks are picked for health awareness campaigns. National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week, February 2-6, 2009, is slated just before Valentine's Day for a reason. The heightened expectations, the saccharine disappointments.
According to the Shriver Center:
- One in five teenagers between the ages of 13 and 14 says that their friends are victims of dating violence;
- 69 percent of all teenagers who had sex by age 14 said that they had experienced one or more types of abuse in a dating relationship;
- 30 percent of teenagers in a dating relationship have been text-messaged 10, 20, or 30 times per hour by a partner attempting to find out where they are, what they are doing, or with whom they are.
When I recall my teen years, there is a certain couple who stands out for their beauty and their inner beasts. The keg parties, too much booze, the instigating sarcastic comment, the escalating voices, and then the fists. It was hard to tell who started first.
But what is more remarkable in retrospect is that 20 or 30 other kids could watch on, shrug their shoulders and not intervene. Oh, not again. La de dah.
What 15-year old is emotionally equipped to deal with that? And that goes for the instigator, victim and the bystanders. The couple dated the whole of high school until college broke cupidâs spell. I wonder how that formative romance defined their future relationships.
About those dating violence stats, the
Shriver Center publication notes: "Even more alarming is that 81% of parents surveyed believe that teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they do not know if it is an issue."
Okay, the sad reality check is that many parents - like my parents - are completely clueless about their child's social calendar and whereabouts. "Spending the night at Jane's house, mom. See you tomorrow!" Of course, Jane is saying the same thing to her mom about a sleepover at my house. Brilliant teens.
Fast forward to now and dating harassment and stalking has taking on a new form with the onset of technology. Those
cells phones ...a blessing and a curse. And interestingly, boys appear at least as anecdotally described in a
NYT article - to have a propensity to use texting as a way to control a girlfriend's behavior. (See uTube video: The Line)
Of course, awareness and prevention about youth dating violence is key - via schools, teachers, and peer advocacy. Kudos to the Liz Claiborne Inc.âs collaboration with
The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline for:
Love is Respect. Put that on a Valentineâs Day Card.
