Sometimes a news story crosses your radar and it's hard to shake.
Maybe because my last post threw me back 25 years to those NY parties over the state border that we teens went to.
Recently, a 17 year old was found dead not 100 feet away from the spot in a meadow where she and her friends partied after a Homecoming game.
She told her friends she was leaving and off she went.
She called a family member but the call was garbled, chocked up to bad reception. No one heard from her again. It seems she passed out and never woke up.
It was 30 degrees that night. She died from exposure.
It so happened that my best friend from high school called out of the blue.
We were talking about our kids -- hers are teens and mine, tweens.
I told her about the story of the girl I read about in Monday's paper, and remarked, "She could have been anyone of us; it could happen to our kids.
"I know," my friend lamented.
She just allowed her 15 year old to have a Facebook account.
We worry about the modern challenges, like kids exposing themselves on the net or being preyed on by cyber freaks, when simple human tragedies happen in our communities every day.
I told my 11 year old about the girl in an effort to talk about the consequences of alcohol use.
She immediately went to the emotional, untold part of the story: Her friends must feel
soooo bad.
The alcohol part didn't register so much yet.
I'm sure it will in a few years, at least the intellectual understanding of it - eventually, the physical understanding of it.
Years ago a professor of mine had shared some research he had done on adolescent risk taking related to drug use.
He found that kids who dabbled risky behaviors, the "experimenters", faired much better psychologically than the teens on the extremes --
those who abstain from any risk and those who revel in it.
Intuitively, that makes sense.
Most of us fall in the middle range.
Of course, one misjudgment can be deadly.

I recently read
The Primal Teen by Barbara Strauch.
It's a fascinating and fun summary of the research on adolescent brain development. It's should be required reading for every parent. Strauch spans the brain development of mankind and the role of risk taking in survival of the species; experiments with teen monkeys; and research on human adolescent brains using MRI and other technologies. She writes about the effects of a brain exploding with neuronal development on the cognitive, social and behavioral domains. A wild territory. Basically, the teen's neuronal map is rapidly expanding and then pruning itself back, honing in on "executive' functions like the ability to plan, delay gratification, or take perspective.
I devoured it and my bumpy but basically boring adolescence came into focus: The inexplicable outbursts vs. the otherwise empathic and steady outlook on life; or the distractibility and flakiness, like repeatedly missing the bus with no way to get 5 miles across town to school. This is in contrast to an intense focus on one activity, like my devotion to ballet or scrap booking. And, of course, there was one time I felt devastated by a boy's rejection, made all the worse by a brain marinated in cheap sweet wine, and I walked miles through wooded neighborhoods to arrive home with brambles in my hair and twigs in my sweater.
- Reference: Shedler, J. & Block, J. (1990). Adolescent drug use and psychological health: a longitudinal inquiry. American Psychologist, 45, 5, 612-630.
- For Teens: Inside the the Teen Brain (Frontline)